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Affectionatedragon Profile
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Registered: 11-2008
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


 emoticon

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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Apr/20/2011, 8:47 am Link to this post  
 
Affectionatedragon Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


 :flower:

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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Jun/27/2011, 4:21 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


Lynn, Thank you for this gr8 article.. it has released me further from my own deep sense of failure with the N.
Honestly, I could not believe the way I ended up being so angry and yelling at him! Getting out of the car and slamming doors and phones down after he'd raged at me etc. This is so unlike me as ordinarily I am not like this. N began saying I was "so volatile' and the most bitter blow of all ; that for this reason he could not marry me. i was so hurt as i had never been so pushed by anyone..Yet this anger is not a trait any 'normal' people in my life would atrribute to me at all. A close frnd of over 28 years said she would NEVER say that of me and she has seen me go through a lot... she said I am quite the opposite. But the way exN ran his life drove ME CRAZY!!!. He WORE me out,100% exhausted me with his grandiose dramas, and scrambled reality and got me so wound up. To be honest, I have been beating myself up for so long post N and feeling like I 'stuffed up' with him and the D and D is all MY FAULT for getting upset... So thank for this great article.. its given me one more HUGE step towards FREEDOM.. A weight of guilt and grief has been dissipated....Lynn you are wonderful the way you are SO perceptive about what we need to help us out of the abyss. THANKYOU! You r a ROCK!! JLx .
Jun/27/2011, 7:45 pm Link to this post  
 
Affectionatedragon Profile
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Registered: 11-2008
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


 :flower:

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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Aug/25/2011, 9:53 pm Link to this post  
 
deedee1950 Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


Wow!!! A keeper...

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Our greatest gift is the thunder of Silence. ~Joel Goldsmith
Aug/26/2011, 7:41 am Link to this post  
 
Affectionatedragon Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


bump

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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Dec/7/2011, 1:18 pm Link to this post  
 
Affectionatedragon Profile
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Registered: 11-2008
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


 :bump

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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Feb/27/2012, 12:14 pm Link to this post  
 
karlafp Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


I'm speechless. Gobsmacked. Best thing I've read in awhile. And that friends, is why we blame ourselves. I had turned into a nutter and then slowly, so slowly the fog started to clear and I could understand why.

I was virtually unrecognizable to myself. Angry, crying, and depressed. My N told me I had borderline personality, and I spoke to my therapist about it. I jumped on that thinking that if I was BPD, I could change the situation through therapy and we'd be happy at last. My therapist laughed outright, and where he explained this I didn't really understand until I just read it.

As the fog cleared, I tuned out my Nmonster's shyte and got back into my own head, and started dealing with my emotions instead of reacting to the gaslighting, triangulation and general crud that he was dealing with. My behavior has done a 180. His continues to escalate. Wow!!

Great article.

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Never make a person a priority that considers you an option.
Feb/27/2012, 2:29 pm Link to this post  
 
hapi2bf3 Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


Thanks for bumping! good article!
Mar/2/2012, 7:07 am Link to this post  
 
Datdamwuf Profile
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Registered: 08-2011
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


thanks for bumping, I think more and more my XN is BPD with N qualities. Even our marriage counselor suggested it to him...he went into a very scary rage when we drove home after she did that...
Mar/2/2012, 7:18 pm Link to this post  
 
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