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LynnS Profile
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If you've received PM's or read posts by a disgruntled member


Dear Members--

If any of you have been adversely affected by the smear campaign that a recently banned member has been conducting against this board and its management, please know that we are aware of what's been going on and understand that you may be shaken or confused by rumors being spread by this person, especially if you're new. We're very concerned that this problem poster not affect your experience here in a negative way, but rather hope it ends up being educational for all.

Here's an excerpt from our survivors site:

quote:

Smear Campaigns on Message Boards:
Have you ever seen how abusive members, banned from a message board, will begin a smear campaign against that message board and its managers? It happens quite often. The first thing they do is try to involve other members.

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First, take heed of this warning. People who immediately look for allies when they're upset on message boards are more often than not going to end up detracting you from your healing. Don't take on a rescuer role for them and don't let their discontent become yours. It's important that you all use this as a learning experience if possible rather than letting it upset or alarm you. It's all too easy to get caught up in other people's dramas when we're freshly wounded. There are people who know this and take advantage of it who visit here occasionally. Some people are predatory and some are extremely volatile because of their own issues, even though in either case they can seem perfectly civil for a time.

In that light, remember that our message boards are dedicated to you and your learning through the camaraderie, validation, and venting we all do here. Sometimes people seek to interfere with that process, but we need not let that detract us from our own goals. Learning to spot the dysfunction in or predatory nature of people around us is a healthy thing; so take heart all, even if that opportunity arises right here on this forum. Please know that when it happens, we have no tolerance for abuse of our members and you can always contact administration at any time if you want to discuss anything relative to the board, including anything that alarms or concerns you.

If you're not aware of what this member has been doing, that's good. Still, you might get something out of reading this, because we have situations arise like this once in a while.

People aren't always stable or of good intent when they come here and they can act out in various ways. People who get banned generally get banned for a failure to contain themselves and adhere to rules. Upon occasion, their reaction to the banning just reinforces that we were correct in our assessment but unfortunately their reaction can impact members adversely. They turn out to be troublemakers or turn to destructive coping mechanisms, either deliberately or because they have their own issues that come out in all their glory when something happens to upset them. Smear campaigns always mean there's a problem of some kind there.

The kind of destructive posting and PM'ing that this person has been generating show an incredible lack of empathy to the members here. People here already have had their own issues and their trust has been shaken by the Narcissist in their life, and the kind of outrageous claims that have been made and spreading of misinformation by this person out of spite via PM and posts on the board revictimize people by shaking their trust once again. She is simply imposing her drama on you so please don't let the fear they're trying to instill affect you.

Just to be clear, I want you all to know that the PM's and posts (now deleted) that have been generated by this person under various identities are lies and rumors she's dredged up which are intended to malign people. She has been banned from here and appropriate action has been taken.

I am saddened if this person and possibly her compatriots have upset our members here. If any of you are left with doubt about our intentions as a result of this person's attempts to discredit management and this board, then let me share with you in no uncertain terms that we are each who we claim to be, and there are many, many people who know that; the managers are exactly the people listed (and we're ALL listed); and most importantly, there is no hidden agenda of any kind. We do what we do for free, for no reason other than to give back and help. It takes a lot of hours and a lot of work, so we're never thrilled to have that effort questioned or maligned, but it happens. It goes with the territory on mental health boards.

Even when people question our motives it has no impact on us because we know why we're here. However, in case it has impacted you, we want you to know why, too. We're here for all of you because someone or a lot of someone's were here for each of us at one time. Anyone who would question that would likely never do such a thing themselves and can't understand anyone who would. But it really is that simple; we really do.

We're going to keep doing it, too.

Peace to you all.

Lynn

Last edited by Had Enough9, Jul/22/2012, 5:14 pm


---
"The best way out is always through."--Robert Frost
Dec/13/2008, 12:07 pm Link to this post  
 
anewthingforme1 Profile
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Re: If you've received PM's or read posts by a disgruntled member


Thank you to everyone who makes this board possible. It is through your efforts that my healing has and is still taking place.

I've read here for over a year now. You have all been so helpful, wonderful and consistent in your efforts to provide a "safe" place.

Thank you so much!

---
With hugs,
Anew

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow". Mary Anne Radmacher
Dec/13/2008, 12:15 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: If you've received PM's or read posts by a disgruntled member


I, too, am very grateful for this board, and appreciate the time and effort the managers have put into switching sites from msn and passing on to us other helpful links. I am sorry this situation has arisen with a disgruntled past poster; it certainly says more about the banned person than the board. I hope this person finds peace.
Dec/13/2008, 12:21 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: If you've received PM's or read posts by a disgruntled member



Hi Lynn,

I know what you are talking about. It's not the first time I've noticed how a person shows up, not just on this board but also in life, in an ongoing group experience and then tries either consciously or unconsciously to steer it in a different direction-one of their own making.

Look-I've been on this board a loonnngg time now. There have been MANY stories-people have come and gone. So many individuals have been helped here. They show up in a frenzy or with their spirits on the floor. Some are even suicidal. THIS BOARD HAS LITERALLY SAVED LIVES.

Jesus said you can know them by their fruits. I just want to assure new members that this board is just what it says it is-a place for information, education, and support. There are no hidden agendas, no one is trying to sell anything. It is what it is. It is an excellent vehicle for healing and getting free. It is a place where you can talk freely, others know what you are saying, and no one gives you platitudes like "oh, it's not so bad", just "get over it" and all that kind of stuff. It is a vehicle for healing and understanding. This board makes a positive difference in people's lives.
Dec/13/2008, 12:24 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: If you've received PM's or read posts by a disgruntled member


The policy to address conflicts or disagreements regarding board policy directly with management is a very good policy. It does ensure the board continues to contribute to growth for people who are healing from, and sometimes still struggling with, destructive relationships.

It's a big part of what makes the board as good as it is.

ogf
Dec/13/2008, 12:56 pm Link to this post  
 
LynnS Profile
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Re: If you've received PM's or read posts by a disgruntled member


Thanks for the posts, everyone.

Hugs,
Lynn

---
"The best way out is always through."--Robert Frost
Dec/13/2008, 1:34 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: If you've received PM's or read posts by a disgruntled member


Lynn, I appreciate the time - your time free of charge - that you dedicate to helping us heal. You are always kind, gentle, wise, and consistent. We know goodness by its fruits! And, we know poison by its fruits.

Keep the vision alive! We are behind you!
Dec/13/2008, 3:05 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: If you've received PM's or read posts by a disgruntled member


I am addicted to this board! I keep telling myself to stay off and get some work done. But it's hard to stay away.

I think the same story told 100X has seeped through my pores and into my being and given me wisdom, confidence, and strength. I probably don't even know how much this board has benefitted me.

So whatever has to be done to keep it safe is fine by me.
Dec/13/2008, 4:06 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: If you've received PM's or read posts by a disgruntled member


Thanks, Lynn. You're the best.

---
Never trust a guy who doesn't wait until you make it inside your house before he drives away...
Dec/13/2008, 4:11 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: If you've received PM's or read posts by a disgruntled member


Hi Lynne x

that is so sad that someone has to stoop to that low level,,
i like other am so grateful for this board and like others have said , in some ways it has saved my life and my sanity.

This is a support and healing board and long may it stay that way.x

---
Its what you dont do that you regret.....
Dec/14/2008, 4:07 am Link to this post  
 
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