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Eight signs your man may be depressed


Narcissists and Mood Disorders

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Eight signs your man may be depressed
  a.. Story Highlights
  b.. Winter gloom has settled in but watch out for signs of depression

  c.. The man in your life may be depressed if he is not taking care of himself

  d.. Changes in eating, sleeping or your sex life also may be signs of depression

  e.. Increased irritability and inability to stop dwelling on things can indicate depression

  f.. Next Article in Living »
By Andrea G. Bonior
 
(The Frisky) -- Though the stigma is lessening, men are still far more likely than women to let their depression go untreated. Blame it on Rambo, Brando, or the lure of the martini, but many guys still aren't getting the help they need.


As the traditionally stressful, dark days of winter set in, here are some signs that the guy you love might be suffering from more than a loss in fantasy football.

1. Substance use: Has he been drinking more beer than a pledging freshman? Has his usual dinner cocktail spawned into three? Often, an increase in substance use -- and this includes cigarettes, recreational drugs, and caffeine -- can be a desperate attempt to self-medicate or cover up unpleasant feelings that are gnawing at him.

2. Unhealthy eating: We all have our baked chicken days and our nachos-by-the-truckload days; such is the fluctuation of normal eating. But if you see an increasing pattern of junk food bingeing, overeating, skipping meals or loss of appetite, these disruptions -- and the weight changes that go with them -- can be telltale signs of stress and depression.

3. Sleeping changes: While some depressed people want nothing more than to snooze the day away, others lie awake at all hours. A change in sleeping habits, in either direction, can sometimes be a warning that a storm is brewing.

Don't Miss
  a.. The Frisky: What does man of your dreams do for a living?
  b.. The Frisky: Sleeping arrangements at significant other's parent's house
  c.. The Frisky: What my ex taught me about age, needs and desire
4. Irritability: Perhaps he's taking that cocky waiter a little too personally, or he's road-raging like a raging bull. Though many people associate anger and irritability with anything but depression, there is real evidence that edginess and grouchiness -- especially among men -- can signal sadness beneath.

5. Changes in sex life: If your usual stallion has morphed into My Little Pony, it might be a temporary dry spell. But if it seems to last a long time or the change is quite dramatic, this could mean that his mind is too preoccupied to let his body get his groove on.

6. Not taking care of himself: Getting familiar with the sight of track pants on your loved one is the reality of any deepening relationship. But if showers, shaving, and bothering to find the shirt without the hot sauce stain have become a thing of the past, this could be a sign that his internal world isn't looking so good either.

7. Preoccupied thoughts: Maybe he can't stop dwelling on what went down in that staff meeting, or he seems paralyzed by the showdown of tacos versus Pad Thai for takeout. Increased worrying, severe difficulty making decisions, and expressing excessive guilt or worthlessness are behaviors that should set off some alarm bells.

8. Loss of pleasure: If your usual gym rat is becoming one with the couch, or your die hard news junkie has started letting the papers stack up unread, take notice. Losing interest in things that used to cause joy -- without replacing them with anything new -- is a classic symptom of depression.

TM & © 2008 TMV, Inc. | All Rights Reserved



The Depressive has pervasive and continuous depressive cognitions (thoughts) and behaviors. They manifest themselves in every area of life and never abate. The patient is gloomy, dejected, pessimistic, overly serious, lacks a sense of humor, cheerless, joyless, and constantly unhappy. This dark mood is not influenced by changing circumstances.

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Many scholars consider pathological narcissism to be a form of depressive illness. This is the position of the authoritative magazine "Psychology Today". The life of the typical narcissist is, indeed, punctuated with recurrent bouts of dysphoria (ubiquitous sadness and hopelessness), anhedonia (loss of the ability to feel pleasure), and clinical forms of depression (cyclothymic, dysthymic, or other). This picture is further obfuscated by the frequent presence of mood disorders, such as Bipolar I (co-morbidity).

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Bipolar patients in the manic phase exhibit many of the signs and symptoms of pathological narcissism - hyperactivity, self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and control freakery. During this recurring chapter of the disease, the patient is euphoric, has grandiose fantasies, spins unrealistic schemes, and has frequent rage attacks (is irritable) if her or his wishes and plans are (inevitably) frustrated.

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Question:

My husband is a narcissist and is constantly depressed. Is there any connection between these two problems?

Answer:

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Question:

I know a narcissist intimately. Sometimes he is hyperactive, full of ideas, optimism, plans. At other times, he is hypoactive, almost zombie-like.

Answer:

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Question:

Doesn't the narcissist ever feel sorry for his "victims"?

Answer:

The narcissist always feels "bad". He experiences all manner of depressive episodes and lesser dysphoric moods. He goes through a full panoply of mood disorders and anxiety disorders. He experiences panic from time to time. It is not pleasant to be a narcissist.

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The Bipolar Disorder got its name because the mania is followed by - usually protracted - depressive attacks. A similar pattern of mood shifts and dysphorias occurs in many personality disorders such as the Borderline, Narcissistic, Paranoid, and Masochistic.

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---
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy

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Buy 16 books and video lectures on 3 DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships

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Dec/31/2008, 10:09 am Link to this post  
 


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