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Scarlet53 Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


I have been reading more on PA and the technique for dealing with them is to say they are being passive aggressive and ask them why they are angry with you. You probably won't get an answer. But it may floor them and stop it. It takes you out of the loop I think and probably helps you more than them. They are left I suppose having to acknowledge to themselves at least why they are angry with you and I think it gives you the power back. They so want to hold onto that control and see you as the crazy person. That's how it feels to me. I did that in a couple of texts and I think its the last texts I feel I will need to send. I'm out. And at LAST I have the strength to move from his house. He's my landlord and he has served notice on me once, then gone back on it because we were back to being friends ...then served me notice again. I see it as vindictive and bullying. Accepting his judgement of me paralysed me. That's what I bought into [sign in to see URL] was the bad/mad one stuck in the past. Reading this has freed me and given the energy and strength to move and leave him far behind to do (just as the NPDman) the same thing over and over again.

It helped to see my son's father on Christmas Eve. Our lovely son sat between us in the [sign in to see URL] was picking him [sign in to see URL] dad had got him drunk and he was very [sign in to see URL] then so was [sign in to see URL] faces from years [sign in to see URL] 13 years later I STILL felt this seething anger for me from his dad. WTF I ever did to deserve it I still don't know 13 years later. I have been an incredible mum, something that my son gives me credit for but his dad never will. You have to accept that you will get nothing from these people unless it makes them look good and feeds their sense that they are nice people (like my recent ex). In fact my recent ex is the most self serving person I have known since the [sign in to see URL] couched up in 'good deeds'. But he falls out with everyone in the [sign in to see URL] permananently. I am the latest.

Last edited by Scarlet53, Jan/7/2010, 1:59 pm
Jan/7/2010, 1:55 pm Link to this post  
 
freetobeme Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


OMG AD,

Thanks for the bump.
Feb/6/2010, 9:39 pm Link to this post  
 
Keepontruckin Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


Oh, geez, I'm not sure where I am on the recovery road, but I just wrote something on a thread and read this, and it was perfect. Just perfect for me.

Thanks.

---
formerly NarcissistJunkee2
Feb/7/2010, 7:48 pm Link to this post  
 
eyes wideshut Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


Thanks for reposting this.
It really helps see through the chaos of what has been happening. Realisation is still fresh for me, going over so many conversations and events of the last 3 years and altering the perspective (times when i blamed myself, or others or made vague excuses for him) and of course, my own behaviour that changed so much as i became totally focussed on N.
Its a great help to see in written word the logic behind the facade.
This is very helpful for reordering my emotions, analysing my situation and healing myself.

I think this would be useful as a 'sticky' on the top of the board?

Thanks again xx
Feb/8/2010, 4:35 am Link to this post  
 
Resisting Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


What a wonderful post! Very powerful indeed. I can't believe I missed this one!

~Resist~

---
"Fall down seven times...stand up eight."

~Japanese Proverb~
Feb/8/2010, 10:37 pm Link to this post  
 
Affectionatedragon Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


 emoticon

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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Mar/6/2010, 6:19 am Link to this post  
 
nearing60 Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


Thank you, Lynn. This truly resonated with me.

I compare them to the evil forces of bad weather: (Mother Nature sounding too kind a word for them).. strong earthquake leaving many tremors, hale and hell force winds,
ice storms, tornadoes that wipe out epicenters, hurricanes that cause erosion, and avalanches that block the road,

There is a way out to safety and sanity.
Mar/6/2010, 8:22 am Link to this post  
 
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


bump

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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Apr/6/2010, 10:30 pm Link to this post  
 
FindingPeace Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


Thank you for posting this! It's great and gave me a lot of understanding.
 emoticon

Last edited by FindingPeace, Apr/7/2010, 10:31 am


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~♥~One day what's lost can be found.~♥~

^It is much easier to make good men wise than to make bad men good." Henry Fielding, 1749^
Apr/7/2010, 10:30 am Link to this post  
 
Affectionatedragon Profile
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Re: From the archives: "Ten Steps Out"


 emoticon

---
"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
May/10/2010, 4:52 pm Link to this post  
 
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