"Things will never change" https://bnarcissisticabuserecovery.runboard.com/t18081 Runboard| "Things will never change" en-us Fri, 29 Mar 2024 09:28:45 +0000 Fri, 29 Mar 2024 09:28:45 +0000 https://www.runboard.com/ rssfeeds_managingeditor@runboard.com (Runboard.com RSS feeds managing editor) rssfeeds_webmaster@runboard.com (Runboard.com RSS feeds webmaster) akBBS 60 "Things will never change"https://bnarcissisticabuserecovery.runboard.com/p173039,from=rss#post173039https://bnarcissisticabuserecovery.runboard.com/p173039,from=rss#post173039http://www.sowhatireallymeant.com/2011/12/28/guest-author-sam-vaknin-phdabuse-victims-new-year-resolutions-%E2%80%94-things-will-never-change/ Guest Author Sam Vaknin, PhD: Abuse Victim’s New Year Resolutions — “Things will never change.” Wednesday, December 28, 2011   "Resolute" — Tamara McKinney by Mimi Stuart © Live the Life the Desire New year resolutions are notoriously fragile and ephemeral. But victims of abuse cannot afford this cavalier attitude: their mental — and too often physical — health depends on strictly observing the following promises to themselves: 1. I will treat myself with dignity and demand respect from others. I will not allow anyone to disrespect me. 2. I will set clear boundaries and make known to others what I regard as permissible and acceptable behavior and what is out of bounds. 3. I will not tolerate abuse and aggression in any form or guise. I will seek to terminate such misconduct instantly and unequivocally. 4. I will be assertive and unambiguous about my needs, wishes, and expectations from others. I will not be arrogant — but I will be confident. I will not be selfish and narcissistic — but I will love and care for myself. 5. I will get to know myself better. 6. I will treat others as I want them to treat me. I will try to lead by way of self-example. 7. If I am habitually disrespected, abused, or if my boundaries are ignored and breached I will terminate the relationship with the abuser forthwith. Zero tolerance and no second chance will be my maxims of self-preservation. by Sam Vaknin, PhD — the excellent author of “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited” and other books about personality disorders. nondisclosed_email@example.com (samvaknin)Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:09:11 +0000