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cranberryconfit Profile
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Registered: 02-2013
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Practical tips for recovering trust in your memory after gaslighting


Hi I'm new here and signed up to see if I could get some practical tips.

There's lots of info out there about how to spot abusers, abuse patterns etc. and I realised from reading around, that my ex had been gaslighting me for about a decade. (He used to deny conversations and events had taken place, hide books, bus pass, keys etc. and then miraculously "find" them after half an hour in a place I'd already looked etc.)

My problem is that although I threw him out 5 years ago, I am still suffering the effects of what he did - I am unable to trust my memory or organise myself properly - constantly forgetting things - constantly leaving things behind at the last minute.

I think when someone has planted a belief about your abilities, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So because I believed that I was scatty, careless, forgetful, unreliable, I became that person.
I realised I became that person because of him (I wasn't like that before I met him!) And I don't want to be that person he created. How do I get my memory back? How do I stop that voice in my head that says I'm not capable of organising anything or taking control of my environment or remembering things? Has anyone experienced this and been able to recover from it?
Feb/6/2013, 4:12 pm Link to this post  
 
Had Enough9 Profile
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Re: Practical tips for recovering trust in your memory after gaslighting


Hi CC,

Welcome to NAR. A huge part of recovery is in deleting those negative messages the xnp used to brainwash us into feeling we were less than and powerless.

There are times when I just have to tell my brain to "stop" or to "shut up".

You may receive more answers if you will copy and paste your post and put it on the general forum. It has much more activity.

Hugs,
Had
Feb/6/2013, 7:08 pm Link to this post  
 
cranberryconfit Profile
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Re: Practical tips for recovering trust in your memory after gaslighting


Thanks Had, I'll do that!
Feb/8/2013, 3:58 pm Link to this post  
 




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