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What is Idealization


Idealization

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Description

Idealization is the over-estimation of the desirable qualities and underestimation of the limitations of a desired thing. We also tend to idealize those things that we have chosen or acquired.

The opposite of Idealization is Demonization, where something that is not desired or disliked has its weak points exaggerated and its strong points played down.
 
Example

A teenager in awe of a rock star idealizes their idol, imagining them to have a perfect life, to be kind and thoughtful, and so on. They ignore the star's grosser habits and rough background.

A person has bought an exotic foreign holiday. They dream about how perfect their vacation will be, not thinking about insects, heat, crime etc.

I buy a sports car and look admiringly at its sleek lines. I ignore the fact that it drinks fuel and is rather uncomfortable.

A person in a religious cult idealizes the cult and its leader, assuming they are perfect and that the outside world is very poor in comparison
Sep/9/2013, 8:07 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: What is Idealization


A common characteristic of the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist is having them idealize you. You can do no wrong. They act as if you are the greatest thing ever. They mirror your likes and dislikes. You feel that you have finally met someone who totally understands you and loves you.

This is the "con" of the narcissist. Once the narcissist sees you are committed to them, then they begin to devalue you. They demean you, and emotionally abandon and discard you. We call this the d & d.
It is the disorder that causes the narcissist to treat you this way.
You did not cause it, and nothing you do can change the narcissist and "fix" the situation.

Hugs,
Had
Sep/9/2013, 8:13 pm Link to this post  
 




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