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From the Facebook Page:"After Narcissistic Abuse-There is Light, Life & Love
After Narcissistic Abuse - There is Light, Life & Love with Deborah Ann Reynolds.
Narcissist – judge, jury & executioner. Education and the truth to start you on your road to recovery.
A Narcissist ALWAYS strives to make you feel that YOU are crazy, especially if you try to confront them, bring up past issues or behaviors, or making them accountable when they are doing something appalling. Basically YOU are told that you have an overly active imagination, you don’t know what you’re talking about, they have no idea what you’re talking about, or that you’re simply making things up to cause problems. They’ll tell you that it is obvious that you are the one who is crazy (and tell you that everyone around you agrees with them about you being crazy). FURTHERMORE, they will claim not to remember any of these events, even flatly deny that they ever happened, and will NEVER accept the possibility that they might have forgotten. This is extremely aggressive and infuriating AND a tactic called “gas-lighting”, a common technique used by abusers. Your perceptions of reality are continually undermined so that you end up without any confidence in your own intuition, memory, processing your thoughts, or reasoning. The Narcissist is a master at deflecting!
The Narcissist will up the game to include destroying your soul, your ego, your accomplishments and any belief system you have that does not agree with their beliefs. The way the game is played is for them to try to turn everything about you and everything you do, into a complete failure. The Narcissist has the reasoning of a child – but they act out like a controlling and demanding dictator. No matter what your real age, you are never allowed to reach a viable emotional age with them especially one that allows for your individuality or growth with them. You will always be treated like a stupid child, a bad child, a silly child, etc., and you will always be reprimanded and put in your place to honor them completely and NEVER question them! Consistent managing down is what all of this amounts to or grooming you through CONTROL.
ONLY the Narcissist gets to make up rules as they go along and they are ever changing! The Narcissist doesn’t tell you ANY of the rules OR any of the new rules and they do change them whenever it suits them. They are in charge therefore the Narcissist always wins the game. You will be penalized and severely punished for breaking the rules, even if they chose not to tell you the rules. They consistently break the rules themselves and never held accountable because they are omnipotent and above life. It is a completely fail safe system that works completely in their favor because no one is ever the wiser to their delusional and dysfunctional world. We are there living in it, reacting to it, and YES even trying to work within their system, but unfortunately we are not aware of the real agenda because they love us (or so we believe) and we are only applying the ‘normal’ rules and it isn’t a game to us.
Everything with a Narcissist is competitive and every life situation is a competition that requires “one-upmanship”, to beat their opponent – and very human being is an opponent because a Narcissist does NOT allow individualism. It always involves a “payoff” for the Narcissist that usually involves extorting everything they can and devaluing and hurting you somehow too. They feel superior within their ability to con and destroy. Again their delusional world is like a battleground with them against us – unfortunately we never know this because they make us believe that they are real, caring, full of empathy and loving. They keep track of real AND imaginary things you do, have done, or might do. It is a reactionary relationship with them!
It may seem like a Narcissist has to put a great deal into this false persona and basically they do. But it is simple for them and just a pattern they have used all of their lives. They are very accomplished liars. Their complete persona and their entire world are totally based on lies. Their positive attributes and alleged actions are all made up in order to get other people to give them their fix of Narcissistic supply, praise, adulation and accolades. It gives them an acceptable façade and place among good and normal people in life. Unfortunately they seriously loathe people but NEED them. They need that place to be able to obtain supply. In the end they will take you out to so they don’t lose that acceptable place in life. They will move on to the next family and exhaust their worth and move on again and again.
Lastly what supports their lies is DENIAL. It is important to recognize that the Narcissist will never acknowledge that any games are being played AND the important point here is that it is up to YOU to stop playing. There is absolutely NOTHING you can do to fix them, the situation or heal them! You will always be told you are wrong, they are right, and that you are in need of some serious help. You can’t get them to acknowledge or take responsibility for their words or actions because they will always say they didn’t do it or it never happened. They have to or they would have to face real accountability and retribution for their actions! They use your emotions to accomplish this by baiting you with a little love and acceptance to keep you hanging on until they use up what it is you have and they need.
The point here is that what I described is a Narcissist and how they abuse. They are not fully functioning human beings. They do not connect on ANY level with human beings except to use them as supply. We can describe this as a superficial relationship, but it goes far beyond superficial because it is a toxic and destructive relationship that will completely drain you and disable you and your belief system. Your responsibility is to get your ‘ah ha’ moment and understand that they are the defective ones that emotionally and psychologically inflicted some deep wounds that have severely affected your psyche. BUT that is where you start on your road to recovery. There is another type of healing that involves your personal wounds that the Narcissist sourced out and used against you. Healing involves you and only you closing all of those wounds permanently through healing! THIS is the only way you will start on your road to recovery by accepting the truth that a Narcissist is purely toxic to ALL people – you and I are no exception. The bond we created with them was only real to us and a tool the Narcissist took complete advantage of. Once you get this you MUST completely accept it as the truth and move on without ever looking back because they are a dead end. That is when you can concentrate on YOU because you are the only important aspect in the recovery process – they are no longer a REAL part of you or this process even if they are in your life – you must disengage emotionally with the real truth to move forward and heal. No/minimal contact! Greg
Dec/20/2015, 7:51 am
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