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Toxic Narcissism

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Toxic Narcissism
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Apple G. Alvarez
Mood Speak
PEOPLE at times are hard to understand – unpredictable with attitudes that are not manageable. It even becomes worse when the usually adaptive people cannot adjust to their unacceptable traits which extracts all your energies and make you live a miserable life.

What about discussing the epidemic and extreme narcissism?

Some say that self admiration is the best cure to insecurities. But not everybody knows that extreme narcissism is a feeling of owning the universe with an intoxicating attitude leading to uncontrolled arrogance and self interest. The problem is the person seeks to find preposterous perfection and gives no gratitude to people who help them attain their goals.

Narcissistic people are self-interested. They have overestimation of themselves – they want to be loved all the time. Constant admiration brings them pleasure. They feel like they are a celebrity, wanting a standing ovation even when they lose 2 pounds weight. They believe that an ordinary life is a meaningless life and so they try to live an abundant life even beyond their means.

Narcissistic people are consistently self-absorbed by their failures, insecurities, heartaches and mistakes. They rarely find time to reflect and contemplate with the reasons of their disappointments. The tendency is to defend themselves at all cost using their wits and beauty to hide their pain and imperfections. They cannot easily forgive and hang on to grudges for years.

Narcissistic people have high egos. It is like all ‘egos” – their goals are mostly for the benefit of themselves. Sometimes they assume a friendly attitude aiming to get the approval of others. They have hidden agendas to attain their self goals. They are very good at covering their anxieties.
Narcissistic people are annoying. They like to create stories to control conversations. They are great planners in emerging chaos and fights and they play safe during investigations. They are comfortable with lying and they never feel any remorse for their bad deeds. They cannot maintain longer friendships and relationships.

Narcissistic people have dominant and grandiose needs. The first need is to gain the approval of all; hence they always have a false image of being the “goody goody” person. They have paramount needs that they fail to realize that their first need is to deal with themselves, to stop hurting and damaging other people offhandedly and learn to see the worst of them.

Narcissistic people are poorly equipped in reality when it comes to completing tasks. They are lazy and blame others when they cannot deliver the output. They would rather play games on the computer rather than listen to the speakers when attending professional seminars. They have a low tolerance to criticisms and insensitive for the common good.

Narcissism is not the synonym of self love – never! Because self love is simply being contented of what you have and what you are. It is satisfying one's needs without going beyond your means – it is using yourself as a mirror to reflect on who you are. It is not being busy of comparing and competing with other people. Self love is taking care of yourself for your benefit, but at the same time for the benefit of others. Self love is humility.

So, how is it to cope with a narcissist? Sam Vaknin said – abandon them, and I must agree too, for if we don’t drop them in our lives, then we surely allow them to use us to satisfy their egoistic needs, so simply cut the connection now, before they can psychologically poison us to death!

Published in the [sign in to see URL] Davao newspaper on January 13, 2016.

Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy

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Jan/30/2016, 10:04 am Link to this post  

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