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RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH Sam Vaknin's Video: Narcissists and Co dependents

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Notes for Sam's video available on the page:

0:48 both involved pathological fantasy as defence mechanism
1:00 the co-d has realistic view of self but a fantastical view of the NPD
the NPD has fanatastical view of self but realistic, PENETRATING view of the other
1:16 the co-d fantasises about others, NPD fantasises about his self
1:45 the co- d devalues herself, the NPD devalues others - they are MIRROR IMAGE
2:27 both the co-d and the NPD seek validation from the environment (my note: is
this the self love defeciency Rosenberg speaks of present in both?
is this the lack of proper individuation because of attachment trauma in both?)
2:45 co-d wants others (objects) to restore her reality test and calibrate her
"tell me who I am, tell me Im not crazy"
3:45 the NPD is looking for external input to support a fantastical view of self
the grandiose delusion "help me evade reality, construct a disney land like Kingdom
in which I am king, judge, jury" (and execution)
GIVE ME BLUE PILL FOREVER (my note, think of Cypher the Judas from the Matrix Movie
"make me something cool, like a rock star" he trades off his friends, his vulnerability
to live a delusion of grandiosity, consciously choosing the narcissitic bubble
in the physical pod of pink goo)
5:00 some co-d can be NPD (a SMALL MINORITY - my note: dont send me panicky emails
worrying you are an NPD, you are not)
Sam's term: Inverted Narcissists. Covert Narcs who fail to obtain supply because they
are avoidant and introverted so get it by proxy from an Overt narc
6:20 vicarious narcissistic supply for the inverted narc who is a co-d who is also
a narcissist
6:43 co-d's cannot be npd because they have empathy etc
7:00 "the overwhelming majority of narcissists actually have co-dependent traits"
Sense of self regulated by others, they NEED that input Narc supply) or they "crumble to dust"
the npd personality is made up of two parts:
1. the dilapidated, dysfunctional true self, which is frozen
at the level of a 4 to 9 year old child (my note :the age of peak of the trauma
the "traumatic break with reality", the unique and unusual set of circumstances
that create the rare condition of full blown malignant NPD)
abandoned, crying : the TRUE self of the narcissist
2. the false self: everything the true self is not, god like and all knowing
8:26 As the NPD moves from the false self to the true self he becomes a drug addict
His drug of choice? Narc supply
9:00 the irony: the npd develops pronounced co-d traits

My podcast response on soundcloud

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Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy

Buy 16 books and video lectures on 3 DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships
Jun/26/2018, 10:58 am Link to this post  

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