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Affectionatedragon Profile
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Re: FOCUS ON OURSELVES: Thought Stopping


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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Jan/9/2010, 6:56 am Link to this post  
 
Had Enough9 Profile
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posticon Re: FOCUS ON OURSELVES: Thought Stopping


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Jan/9/2010, 11:18 am Link to this post  
 
Affectionatedragon Profile
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Re: FOCUS ON OURSELVES: Thought Stopping


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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Jan/10/2010, 12:58 am Link to this post  
 
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Re: FOCUS ON OURSELVES: Thought Stopping


what i want to [sign in to see URL] that the name of this [sign in to see URL] enough is focus on ourselves and isnt that what narcissus did?....we were [sign in to see URL] mainly on him, wanting to know what he was doing and he never knew we were there and now we have to go into the mirror reflection and focus on ourselves...
Jan/10/2010, 4:19 am Link to this post  
 
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Re: FOCUS ON OURSELVES: Thought Stopping


Echo and Narcissus, that's a good analogy.
I think focusing on ourselves redresses the balance that was distorted by the N, who manipulated us to focus 100% on him or her. In our mirrors we hopefully will realize that our reflections are good, kind, and compassionate -- the very opposite of what a narcissist would see.

Self knowledge is so powerful. When I think of everything that was done to me, the revenge that I wish for is for those people to be forced to look into their mirrors and see their own ugliness of spirit, to see themselves for what they truly are. That would be the worst punishment that I could imagine.

Oops, this thread is about thought stopping. I had problems with unwanted thoughts for a long time until I evolved this strategy: I made a short list of 3-4 pieces of music that had repetitive lyrics and regular (in one case irritating!) beat. I didn't choose favorite songs because I didn't want to associate them with my obsessing. When an obsessive thought comes along I ask myself if that thought is going to help me or if it's just obsessing. If it's just obsessing then I sing one of those songs in my head or play it on my iPod over and over to force my mind into a different track. My brain is learning that when salixalba starts to play or sing certain tunes, it must cut out the obsessing or listen to that tune until it complies. Sometimes it takes several tries over a couple of hours or in one memorable case an entire day, but it works almost every time.
Jan/10/2010, 12:20 pm Link to this post  
 
Affectionatedragon Profile
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Re: FOCUS ON OURSELVES: Thought Stopping


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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Jan/21/2010, 5:39 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: FOCUS ON OURSELVES: Thought Stopping


like some of the others, it's the intimacy i miss and cant stop thinking about. it kills me to think he is making another woman feel that way.

we were married for 13 years. no matter how horrifically this all played out, and even though i know he is like poison to my soul and that i'm better off without him, and even though i guess i was just an [sign in to see URL] still miss the closeness i felt with him. i just have to say, he is a very good actor.
Jan/21/2010, 6:14 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: FOCUS ON OURSELVES: Thought Stopping


Lynn,

Can you park this thread under the Our Favorite Quote and No Contact and N-Dipping???

I feel this is a very important thread with so much information to read.

I think that this information needs to be permanent so that we can resource the information.

Is that doable? I believe all would agree.

Thank you,
kmk63
Jan/21/2010, 8:00 pm Link to this post  
 
Affectionatedragon Profile
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Re: FOCUS ON OURSELVES: Thought Stopping


bump

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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Feb/11/2010, 11:15 am Link to this post  
 
Affectionatedragon Profile
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Re: FOCUS ON OURSELVES: Thought Stopping


bump

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"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
Feb/27/2010, 11:58 am Link to this post  
 
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