mscratch
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Registered: 06-2010
Posts: 195
Karma: 7 (+7/-0)
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Re: What If He Changes? The Hole in the N's Bucket
Thanks Okie and Lynn for the encouraging words. I guess we all struggle with the same types of issues, and I'm glad he's my past, and I'm going to keep hanging in there... does it get better? I'm thinking about it all the time.
I'll keep reading...
--- It's better to have loved and lost, than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.
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Jul/31/2011, 11:44 pm
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okiegal52
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Registered: 06-2011
Posts: 297
Karma: 4 (+4/-0)
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Re: What If He Changes? The Hole in the N's Bucket
mscratch, yes, it does get better, but we all come to this wonderful board in a different timeframe for our healing.
I have written many topics on the New Members Discussion board, so I won't go into depth with my story here. Long story short, my situation was with a XNBF who I "dated" (actually he leeched off me) for about one year. Started out with good ole Okie feeling sorry for a guy "down on his luck". I guess all but me could see clearly how it was gonna fall out. I gave him 10's of thousands of dollars of help, plus a car to drive free for 9 months, until I decided he'll never get on his feet, and I am gonna be in the poor house with no progress to show, so I dumped him (well, he actually faded away when I asked for the car back and said I wouldn't give any more $$$$$).
I came to this wonderful board after 8 months NC when a co-worker who I told about XNBF said "Wow! That guy's a Narcissist!" Thus began my search for answers on-line, learning about NPD, and thus being directed to the healing board.
My toughest problem after the r/s ended was I kept waiting for an apology, which I now know will never happen because I understand NPD, for he is surely demonizing me to others, and has turned the situation where he was my victim! :sick:
I am so sorry for all your struggles, and I wish you the very best. :flower:
Warm thoughts,
Okie
--- Okie
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Aug/1/2011, 5:38 am
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Affectionatedragon
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Registered: 11-2008
Posts: 4540
Karma: 71 (+71/-0)
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Re: What If He Changes? The Hole in the N's Bucket
:flower:
--- "Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
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Sep/26/2011, 10:21 pm
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deedee1950
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Registered: 08-2011
Posts: 2270
Karma: 47 (+47/-0)
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Re: What If He Changes? The Hole in the N's Bucket
Maturity is nothing you acquire over night. It is learned behavior by accepting responsibility, learning from life experience, reaction to various situations, taking on the welfare of others ie...children, spouse...thought processing. N's lack maturity. Maturity can not be given my medication or transferred.
They are who they are....I know N's in their 60's and 70's. Lonely....but no matter, it is/was someone's fault other than the N's.
Deedee
--- Our greatest gift is the thunder of Silence. ~Joel Goldsmith
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Sep/27/2011, 4:55 am
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Affectionatedragon
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Posts: 4540
Karma: 71 (+71/-0)
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Re: What If He Changes? The Hole in the N's Bucket
:flower:
--- "Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
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Nov/27/2011, 3:21 pm
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Affectionatedragon
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Registered: 11-2008
Posts: 4540
Karma: 71 (+71/-0)
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Re: What If He Changes? The Hole in the N's Bucket
:bump
--- "Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Mark Twain
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Mar/2/2012, 12:26 pm
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hapi2bf3
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Registered: 12-2011
Posts: 851
Karma: 22 (+22/-0)
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Re: What If He Changes? The Hole in the N's Bucket
:clap:
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Mar/2/2012, 1:10 pm
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