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samvaknin
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Understanding Muhammas: Muhammad’s Personality Profile
http://faithfreedom.org
http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Muhammad-Ali-Sina/dp/0980994802/
About the Author
Ali Sina is a Canadian of Iranian descent. He is the founder of faithfreedom.org a site created to spread the truth about Islam and help Muslimst to leave it. Since its inception in 2001 Faith Freedom International has been transformed into a grassroots movement of ex-Muslims and is bringing about a silent revolution and a reawakening of Muslims all over the world.
Ali Sina has written numerous articles that have been published on his site and many other sites. He is famous mainly for his many debates with Muslims among whom several reputable scholars such as Ayatollah Montazeri, the man who was appointed to succeed Ayatollah Khomeini, Mr. Javed Ahmad Ghamidi, a reformist Pakistani scholar and an advisor to the Pakistani Government, and Maulana Ajmal Qadri, a Senior religious scholar of the Deobandi school and the president of Jamiat Ulema-e-Islam (The Society of Islamic Scholars).
Ali Sina is a Secular Humanist, a World Federalist and a vegan.
Muhammad’s Personality Profile
T
here are literally tens of thousands of short stories about Muhammad. Many of them are forgeries, others are weak and dubious in nature, but some are believed to be Sahih (authentic, true) hadith (oral traditions). By reading these Sahih hadith, a fairly consistent picture of Muhammad emerges and it is possible to make an approximate evaluation of his character and psychological make-up.
The picture that emerges is that of a narcissist. In this chapter I will quote authoritative sources on narcissism and then will try to show how Muhammad fits that profile hand in glove.
Scholarship and research on the matter is limited precisely because Muslims have not and will not permit objective inquiry into the Qur’an or the life of Muhammad. However, what is written about him is not only consistent with the definition of narcissism, but also can be seen in many similar bizarre acts being committed today by Muslims themselves the world over. Thus, the personality disorder of one man has been bequeathed like an inheritance upon his followers, where one man’s psychosis, spectacular in its depth of self-absorption, has been spreading to millions of his followers, rendering them, in the same way, self-absorbed, irrational, and dangerous.
It is through understanding the psychology of Muhammad, the ruthlessness and situational ethics so essential to his character, that we begin to understand why Muslims are so intolerant, so violent, so paranoid, and why they see themselves as victims, when they are the aggressors and the victimizers.
What is Narcissism?
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) describes narcissism as a personality disorder that “revolve around a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and sense of entitlement. Often individuals feel overly important and will exaggerate achievements and will accept, and often demand, praise and admiration despite worthy achievements.”[1]
The third and fourth editions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of 1980 and 1994 and the European ICD-10[2] describe NPD in similar language:
An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts. Five (or more) of the following criteria must be met:
Feels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion
Is firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special, unique, or high-status people (or institutions)
Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation, or failing that, wishes to be feared and notorious (narcissistic supply)
Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favorable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations
Is “interpersonally exploitative” i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends
Is devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others
Is constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her
Is arrogant, has haughty behaviors or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted [3]
All these traits were confirmed in Muhammad. Apart from thinking he was the anointed messenger of God and the Seal of the Prophets (Q.33:40), Muhammad regarded himself as Khayru-l-Khalq (the Best of Creation), an “excellent example” (Q.33:21), and explicitly or implicitly hinted to be “exalted above other prophets in degrees” (Q.2:253). He claimed to be “the preferred one” (Q.17:55), to have been sent as a “Mercy to the worlds” (Q.21:107), to have been risen “to a praised estate” (Q.17:79) – a station which he said none but he would receive – and this is the Station of Intercession at the right hand of the Almighty next to his Glorious Throne. In other words, he would be the person who would advise God as to who should be sent to Hell and who should be admitted to Heaven. These are just some of Muhammad’s megalomaniac claims about his own lofty station that are reported in the Qur’an.
The following two verses express vividly Muhammad’s sense of self importance and grandiosity.
Truly, Allâh and His angels send praise and blessings [forever] upon the Prophet. O you who believe! Praise and bless the Prophet with utmost laud and blessing. (Q.33:56)
In order that you (O men) may believe in Allâh and His Messenger, that you may assist and honor Him, and celebrate His praise morning and evening. (Q.48:9)
Muhammad was so impressed with himself, that he put the following words in the mouth of his sock puppet deity:
“And you (stand) on an exalted standard of character” (Q.68:4) and are “a lamp with spreading light.” (Q.33:46)
Ibn Sa’d reports Muhammad saying:
Among all the people of the world God chose the Arabs. From among the Arabs he chose the Qinana. From Qinana he chose the Quraish (the tribe of Muhammad). From the Quraish he chose Bani Hashim (his clan). And from Bani Hashim he chose me.[4]
---
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy
http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
Buy 16 books and video lectures on 3 DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
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Mar/19/2009, 11:22 am
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samvaknin
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Re: Understanding Muhammas: Muhammad’s Personality Profile
The following are some of the claims Muhammad made about himself in the hadith.
· The very first thing that Allâh Almighty ever created was my soul.
· First of all things, the Lord created my mind.
· I am from Allâh, and the believers are from me.[5]
· Just as Allâh created me noble, he also gave me noble character.
· Were it not for you, [O Muhammad] I would not have created the universe.[6]
Compare that to the words of Jesus, who when someone called him “good master,” objected and said, “Why do you call me good? No one is good—except God alone.”[7] Only a pathological narcissist can be so cut off from reality as to claim the universe was created because of him.
Narcissists, typically feign humility even when they brag about themselves. Abu Sa`id al-Khudri narrated that the Prophet said: “I am the leader of human beings and I say this without pride.”
At-Tirmidhi narrated:
“The Prophet said: I heard your words, and everything you said is indeed true, and I myself am the Beloved of Allâh (habibullah) and I say this without pride, and I carry the flag of glory (liwa ul-hamd) on the Day of Judgment, and am the first intercessor and the first whose intercession is accepted, and the first to stir the circles of Paradise so that Allâh will open it for me and I shall enter it together with the poor among my Community, and I say this without pride. I am the most honored of the First and the Last, and I say this without pride.”[8]
A narcissist may seem to be self-confident and even accomplished. In reality he (pathological narcissists are predominantly male) or she suffers from a great deficit of self-esteem and needs an outside supply of adulation, constantly seeking dmiration.
Dr. Sam Vaknin is the author of Malignant Self-Love.[9] He is regarded as an authority on the subject. He understands and describes the mind of the narcissist like few do. Vaknin explains:
Everyone is a narcissist, to varying degrees. Narcissism is a healthy phenomenon. It helps survival. The difference between healthy and pathological narcissism is, indeed, in measure. Pathological narcissism… is characterized by extreme lack of empathy. The narcissist regards and treats other people as objects to be exploited. He uses them to obtain narcissistic supply. He believes that he is entitled to special treatment because he harbors these grandiose fantasies about himself. The narcissist is NOT self-aware. His cognition and emotions are distorted… The narcissist lies to himself and to others, projecting ‘untouchability,’ emotional immunity and invincibility... For a narcissist everything is bigger than life. If he is polite, then he is aggressively so. His promises are outlandish, his criticism violent and ominous, his generosity inane. … The narcissist is a master of disguise. He is a charmer, a talented actor, a magician and a director of both himself and his milieu. It is very difficult to expose him as such in the first encounter. [10]
---
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy
http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
Buy 16 books and video lectures on 3 DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
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Mar/19/2009, 11:23 am
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samvaknin
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Re: Understanding Muhammas: Muhammad’s Personality Profile
The Cult of the Narcissist
The narcissist needs admirers. He draws an imaginary circle around himself, where he is the center. He gathers his fans and followers in that circle, rewards them and encourages their sycophantism. Those who fall outside the circle are viewed as his enemies. Vaknin explains:
The narcissist is the guru at the centre of a cult. Like other gurus, he demands complete obedience from his flock: his spouse, his offspring, other family members, friends, and colleagues. He feels entitled to adulation and special treatment by his followers. He punishes the wayward and the straying lambs. He enforces discipline, adherence to his teachings, and common goals. The less accomplished he is in reality – the more stringent his mastery and the more pervasive the brainwashing…
The narcissist's control is based on ambiguity, unpredictability, fuzziness, and ambient abuse.[11] His ever-shifting whims exclusively define right versus wrong, desirable and unwanted, what is to be pursued and what to be avoided. He alone determines the rights and obligations of his disciples and alters them at will.
The narcissist is a micro-manager. He exerts control over the minutest details and behaviors. He punishes severely and abuses withholders of information and those who fail to conform to his wishes and goals.
The narcissist does not respect the boundaries and privacy of his reluctant adherents. He ignores their wishes and treats them as objects or instruments of gratification. He seeks to control both situations and people compulsively.
He strongly disapproves of others' personal autonomy and independence. Even innocuous activities, such as meeting a friend or visiting one's family require his permission. Gradually, he isolates his nearest and dearest until they are fully dependent on him emotionally, sexually, financially, and socially.
He acts in a patronising and condescending manner and criticizes often. He alternates between emphasizing the minutest faults (devalues) and exaggerating the talents, traits, and skills (idealizes) of the members of his cult. He is wildly unrealistic in his expectations, which legitimizes his subsequent abusive conduct…[12]
Muhammad invented a big lie that his adherents believe to be the absolute truth. The danger is that they, like the believers of Hitler’s lies, are willing participants.
In the previous chapter, where we read the introduction to Muhammad, we saw how he separated his followers from their families and the level of control he exerted over their private lives. Sadly the situation has not changed much after 1,400 years. I have received many heartbreaking stories from parents who told me their daughter or son converted to Islam and is now surrounded by Muslims who have persuaded them not to visit their parents.
---
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy
http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
Buy 16 books and video lectures on 3 DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
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Mar/19/2009, 11:24 am
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samvaknin
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Re: Understanding Muhammas: Muhammad’s Personality Profile
The Cause of the Narcissist
The Narcissist knows that direct self-promotion will be seen as repulsive and will be rejected. Instead, he presents himself as a modest, almost self-effacing person, one in the service of God, nation of humanity, whatever the case may be. Behind this facade is however, a clear stratagem. The narcissist “bestows” on his followers a cause, one so great, so august they cannot do without it. He is a revolutionary leader, promoting change and giving hope. Through hype and manipulation, this cause becomes more important than the lives of the people who would be believers. So brainwashed do they become, they are willing to die, and, of course, to kill for it. The narcissist encourages sacrifice – the more, the better. Then he presents himself as the axis of that cause. The cause revolves around him. It’s he alone who can make it happen and lead the followers to that Promised Land. This colossal cause cannot exist without him. He therefore becomes the most important person in the world - the only person who holds the key to their salvation and glory.
That is how the narcissist cult leader manipulates his followers. The cause is a means to their personal end. It could be anything. For Jim Jones, the man who led over 900 people to their mass suicide in Guyana, “social justice” was the cause, and he was the messiah of that cause.
Hitler chose Aryanism as his cause. He did not openly glorify himself, but rather the cause, and the superiority of Germany. He, of course, was the indispensable inspirer and fuehrer of that cause.
For Stalin the cause was communism. Anyone who disagreed with him was against the proletariat and had to be killed.
Muhammad did not ask his followers to worship him. In fact he claimed to be “only a messenger.” Instead he demanded obedience by adroitly calling his followers to obey “Allâh and his messenger.” In one Qur’anic verse, he puts the following words into the mouth of his Allâh:
They ask you about the windfall (spoils of war). Say: The windfalls are for Allâh and the Messenger. So be careful of (your duty to) Allâh and set aright matters of your difference, and obey Allâh and His Messenger if you are believers. (Q.8:1)
Since Allâh had no use for things stolen from a bunch of Arabs, all those spoils automatically had to go to his proxy, i.e. Muhammad. Since no one could see or hear Allâh, all the obedience was to Muhammad. It was he who had to be feared because he was the only intermediary of this most fearsome god. Allâh was necessary for Muhammad to dominate. Without the belief in Allâh, would his followers have sacrificed their lives, killed people, including their own relatives, looted their belongings and handed everything over to him? This imaginary Allâh was his tool of domination. Allâh was Muhammad’s alter ego. Ironically Muhammad preached against associating partners with God, when, in fact, himself as the partner Allâh in a manner which made them logically and practically inseparable.
Narcissists need a cause to harness their followers. The Germans did not start the war for Hitler’s sake. They did it for the cause that he sold them.
Dr. Sam Vaknin writes: “Narcissists use anything they can lay their hands on in the pursuit of narcissistic supply. If God, creed, church, faith, and institutionalized religion can provide them with narcissistic supply, they will become devout. They will abandon religion if it can't.”[13]
Islam was an instrument of domination. After Muhammad, others used it for the very same purpose. Muslims become like putty in the hands of those leaders who invoke Islam.
Mirza Malkam Khan (1831-1908), an Armenian who became Muslim and together with Jamaleddin Afghani launched the “Islamic Renaissance” (An-Nahda), had a slogan of unrivaled cynicism: “Tell the Muslims something is in the Qur’an, and they will die for you.”[14]
---
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy
http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
Buy 16 books and video lectures on 3 DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
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Mar/19/2009, 11:24 am
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samvaknin
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Re: Understanding Muhammas: Muhammad’s Personality Profile
The Legacy of the Narcissist
On his deathbed, Muhammad urged his followers to push on and continue their jihad. Genghis Khan gave a similar command to his sons on his deathbed. He told them he desired to conquer the world, but since he could no longer do it, they should fulfill his dream. The Mongols, like Muslims, were terrorizors. For the narcissist, all that matters is to win. They have no conscience. For them, lives of others are cheap.
At the age of 51, Hitler became aware of a tremor in his left hand. He usually hid it and as the disease advanced, he stayed away from the public. He realized his death was approaching. He became more resolute, launching his attacks with a renewed sense of urgency, knowing he was in a race against time. The narcissist wants to leave a legacy.
It is a mistake to think of Islam as just a religion. The mystical aspect of Islam was created later by Muslim scholars and philosophers and who gave esoteric interpretations to Muhammad’s asinine words. His followers molded the religion according to their penchant, and with the passage of time, those interpretations inherited the seal of antiquity and thus credibility.
If Islam is a religion, then so were Nazism, communism, Satanism, Heaven’s Gate, People’s Temple, Branch Davidian, etc. If we think of religion as a philosophy of life to educate, to bring forth human potential, to elevate the soul, to stimulate spirituality, to unite hearts and to enlighten mankind, then Islam surely fails that litmus test completely. Therefore, by this measure, Islam should not and cannot be regarded as a religion.
Narcissist wants to be God
For the narcissist, what ultimately matters is power. He wants to be respected, noted, and not neglected. Narcissists are lonely and insecure By projecting themselves as revolutionary leaders, harbingers of hope and ambassadors of great causes, they hope to attract votaries. The cause is a pretext. Narcissists invent fictitious gods and spurious causes. The more they elevate their false deities and glorify their causes the more power they can garner for themselves.
Allâh was for Muhammad a convenient tool. Through him he could wield unlimited authority over his followers and became the master of their lives. There was only one God, fearsome as well as generous and forgiving, and he, Muhammad, was his one and only representative. This made him God by proxy. Though obedience was supposed to flow from Allâh down to him, in actuality it was always Muhammad and his every whim that they were expected to satisfy. Vaknin explains this dynamism in his article “For the Love of God – Narcissists and Religion”[15]
God is everything the narcissist ever wants to be: omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, admired, much discussed, and awe-inspiring. God is the narcissist's wet dream, his ultimate grandiose fantasy. But God comes handy in other ways as well. The narcissist alternately idealizes and devalues figures of authority.
In the idealization phase, he strives to emulate them, he admires them, imitates them (often ludicrously), and defends them. They cannot go wrong, or be wrong. The narcissist regards them as bigger than life, infallible, perfect, whole, and brilliant. But as the narcissist's unrealistic and inflated expectations are inevitably frustrated, he begins to devalue his former idols.
Now they are "human" (to the narcissist, a derogatory term). They are small, fragile, error-prone, pusillanimous, mean, dumb, and mediocre. The narcissist goes through the same cycle in his relationship with God, the quintessential authority figure.
But often, even when disillusionment and iconoclastic despair have set in - the narcissist continues to pretend to love God and follow Him. The narcissist maintains this deception because his continued proximity to God confers on him authority. Priests, leaders of the congregation, preachers, evangelists, cultists, politicians, intellectuals - all derive authority from their allegedly privileged relationship with God.
Religious authority allows the narcissist to indulge his sadistic urges and to exercise his misogyny freely and openly. …The narcissist whose source of authority is religious is looking for obedient and unquestioning slaves upon whom to exercise his capricious and wicked mastery. The narcissist transforms even the most innocuous and pure religious sentiments into a cultish ritual and a virulent hierarchy. He preys on the gullible. His flock becomes his hostages.
Religious authority also secures the narcissist's Narcissistic Supply. His coreligionists, members of his congregation, his parish, his constituency, his audience - are transformed into loyal and stable Sources of Narcissistic Supply. They obey his commands, heed his admonitions, follow his creed, admire his personality, applaud his personal traits, satisfy his needs (sometimes even his carnal desires), revere and idolize him.
Moreover, being a part of a "bigger thing" is very gratifying narcissistically. Being a particle of God, being immersed in His grandeur, experiencing His power and blessings first hand, communing with him - are all Sources of unending Narcissistic Supply. The narcissist becomes God by observing His commandments, following His instructions, loving Him, obeying Him, succumbing to Him, merging with Him, communicating with Him - or even by defying him (the bigger the narcissist's enemy - the more grandiosely important the narcissist feels).
---
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy
http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
Buy 16 books and video lectures on 3 DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships
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Mar/19/2009, 11:24 am
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samvaknin
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Re: Understanding Muhammas: Muhammad’s Personality Profile
Like everything else in the narcissist's life, he mutates God into a kind of inverted narcissist. God becomes his dominant Source of Supply. He forms a personal relationship with this overwhelming and overpowering entity - in order to overwhelm and overpower others. He becomes God vicariously, by the proxy of his relationship with Him. He idealizes God, then devalues Him, then abuses Him. This is the classic narcissistic pattern and even God himself cannot escape it.[16]
Narcissists do not directly promote themselves. They hide behind the veneer of modesty, while they elevate their god, ideology, cause or religion, which in reality is their own alter ego. They may present themselves as mere messengers, simple, humble, self-effacing heralds of this or that mighty and all-powerful deity, or all-encompassing cause, but they make it clear that they are the only ones who know the cause and are extremely intolerant and unforgiving of dissenters and recalcitrants.
Narcissists are ruthless, but not stupid. They are very much aware of the hurt they cause. They enjoy the sensation of power they get from hurting others. They enjoy being gods – deciding whom to reward and whom to punish – who should live and who should die. Pathological narcissism explains everything that Muhammad was – his ruthlessness, his outlandish claims of grandiosity, his acts of generosity devised to impress those who submitted to him and to establish his superiority, and his self-assurance, as well as his manic and charismatic personality.
What Causes Narcissism?
A child who feels inferior, due to real or perceived social rejection, will try to compensate his feeling of inferiority by a subconscious neurotic mechanism, which the pioneering psychiatrist Alfred Adler coined "Superiority Complex.” This involves exaggerating one’s own achievements and putting down anyone the narcissist perceives as a threat.
Faulty parenting is the major contributing cause of narcissistic personality disorder. For example, permissive parents who give excessive praise, overindulge, spoil, fail to impose adequate discipline, and idealize the child are just as abusive to the child’s character formation as those who beat them, ignore them or commit incest. As a result, the child feels unprepared for adulthood. He grows up with an unrealistic view of life. Conversely, a child who does not receive enough support and encouragement may also develop a narcissistic personality.
We know that Muhammad was given away in infancy to be raised by a stranger. Did his mother lack interest in him? Why did he not pray at her grave even when he was over sixty years old? Was he still resentful toward her?
Halima did not want to take baby Muhammad because he was an orphan of a poor widow and the pay was not great. Did this affect the way she or her family treated him? Children can be cruel. Being an orphan in those days was a stigma, as it still is in many Islamic countries. Muhammad’s childhood condition was not conducive to building a healthy self esteem.
Jon Mardi Horowitz, the author of Stress Response Syndromes, explains: “When the habitual narcissistic gratifications that come from being adored, given special treatment, and admiring the self are threatened, the results may be depression, hypochondria, anxiety, shame, self destructiveness, or rage directed toward any other person who can be blamed for the troubled situation. The child can learn to avoid these painful emotional states by acquiring a narcissistic mode of information processing.”[17]
Muhammad, indeed, had a difficult childhood. In Sura 93 verses 3-8 (quoted at the beginning of chapter one of this book) he tenderly calls to mind his lonesome orphanhood and reassures himself that Allâh will be kind to him and will not forsake him. This shows how much the memory of his lonesome childhood pained him. The fact that he created an imaginary world to escape from reality, so vivid that it scared his foster parents, is another clue that his early childhood was anything but pleasant. Muhammad may not have remembered the details of what happened during his first years of life, but obviously he bore the psychological scars for the rest of his life. To him, the imaginary world he created was real. It was a safe refuge, a pleasant place to retreat and escape from reality. In this imaginary world, he could be loved, respected, admired, powerful, important, and even feared. He could be anything he wanted to be and compensate for the lack of attention he was getting from the world outside.
According to Vaknin, “the true cause of Narcissism is not fully understood but it does start in early childhood (before the age of five). It is believed it is caused by serious and repetitive failures on the part of the child's Primary Object (parents or other caregiver). Adult Narcissists often come from homes where one or both parents severely neglected (ignored) or abused the child… ALL children (healthy and otherwise) when they are not allowed to do something by their parents will sometimes enter into a narcissistic state where they see themselves and act as if they are all powerful. This is healthy and natural as it gives the child the confidence needed to rebound from the parental rejection with self-confidence.”[18]
Neglected children internalize a feeling of inadequacy. They come to believe they are undeserving of love and attention. In reaction to that, they tend to defend their egos by puffing themselves up. They see their own weakness and they feel that if others come to see it, they will not be loved, admired and respected. So they lie and invent fantastic stories bragging about their self-importance. Their imaginary power often originates from an external source. It could be their daddy or a strong friend. This kind of narcissism in children is normal, but if they retain these thoughts into adulthood, it develops into narcissistic personality disorder. Muhammad was used to having imaginary friend. Later in life he replace them with Allâh, the most powerful of all gods. By associating himself with Allâh and presenting himself as his sole intermediary, he incarnated all of God’s power.
After the death of his mother, when Muhammad was six years old, he went under the tutelage of his aging grandfather, who spoiled him. As various ahadith show, Abdul Muttalib was too permissive. He overindulged his orphaned grandchild. He would let Muhammad sit on his mat while his sons sat reverentially around them.
Muhammad’s claim that Abdul Muttalib had foreseen his greatness is obviously his wishful thinking and a figment of his imagination. It is a lie that he may have concocted and possibly believed. In one place he recounted that when his uncles whated to remove him from the mat Abdul Muttalib told them, “Let him alone for he has a great destiny, and will be the inheritor of a kingdom”[19] In another place he bragged to hear the old patriarch telling his nurse, “Beware lest you let him fall into the hands of the Jews and Christians, for they are looking out for him, and would injure him!”[20] These are typical fantasies of narcissists, who think of themselves as so important they believe everyone is after them to harm them out of jealousy. Nonetheless, it is clear that Abdul Mutalib made Muhammad feel special. He pampered and loved his orphaned grandchild. The old man spoiled him out of pity. However, Muhammad interpreted that extra attention as the confirmation of his grandeur. The image he cast about himself in his fantasy world during his childhood was thus bolstered by his grandfather’s overindulgence of him. He was reconfirmed as unique, special, and exceptional.
After the death of Abdul Muttalib, his kind-hearted uncle, Abu Talib, also treated him differently from other children. His status as an orphan, with no siblings, evoked compassion. Both his grandfather and uncle overindulged failed to impose adequate discipline on him. All these extremes contributed to him developing a narcissistic personality. Psychologists J. D. Levine and Rona H. Weiss write:
Just as we know, from the point of view of the physiologist, that a child needs to be given certain foods, that he needs to be protected against extreme temperatures, and that the atmosphere he breathes has to contain sufficient oxygen, if his body is to become strong and resilient, so do we also know, from the point of view of the depth-psychologist, that he requires an empathic environment, specifically, an environment that responds (a) to his need to have his presence confirmed by the glow of parental pleasure and (b) to his need to merge into the reassuring calmness of the powerful adult, if he is to acquire a firm and resilient self. [21]
---
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy
http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
Buy 16 books and video lectures on 3 DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
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Mar/19/2009, 11:25 am
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samvaknin
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Re: Understanding Muhammas: Muhammad’s Personality Profile
Muhammad experienced neglect and abandonment during early years of his life, and permissiveness after that. His circumstances were therefore ripe and conducive for him to become a narcissist.
There is no record that Muhammad ever spoke of his mother. He visited her tomb after he conquered Mecca, but he refused to pray for her. What was the point of that visit? Perhaps this was his vindication, a way to prove to her that despite her, he had made it. On the other hand, he remembered his grandfather, who had showered him with love and provided for him plenty of narcissistic gratifications, fondly.
Psychologists tell us that the first five years of a child’s life are the years that either make him or break him. Muhammad’s emotional needs during the first five years of his life were not met. He carried the painful memories of those lonesome years of abandonment and neglect into his adulthood and old age. He grew up insecure and had a fluctuating sense of self-worth, a weakness he tried to hide with overwhelming haughtiness by growing a sense of entitlement, grandiosity, and an illusion of superiority.
Muhammad positioned himself as the only partner of God and to make sure that no one would ever usurp his position, he claimed to be the last messenger. His power thus was absolute and everlasting.
Khadijah’s Influence on Muhammad
Khadijah’s role in Islam has not yet been fully appreciated. Her influence on Muhammad cannot be overemphasized. Khadijah should be regarded as Muhammad’s partner in giving birth to Islam. Without her, perhaps, Islam would not exist.
We know that Khadijah adored her young husband. There is no report that Muhammad ever worked after marrying Khadijah. After the marriage, Khadijah’s business seems to have gone down the tubes. By her death, the family had become empoverished.
Dejected by the world, he spent most of his time recluse retreating to his pleasant imaginary world of contemplation.
In vaknin’s words, "To avoid such intolerable pain, some patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) socially withdraw and feign false modesty and humility to mask their underlying grandiosity. Dysthymic and depressive disorders are common reactions to isolation and feelings of shame and inadequacy."[22]
At times Muhammad would take food for several days, returning only when it was finished to procure more provisions and go back to his cave.
Khadijah remained at home. Not only she took care of her nine children, but also of her husband who acted like an irresponsible child. She did not seem to complain. She was happy to sacrifice. Why?
That is an important question. This suggests that Khadijah may have had her own personality disorder. She was what we today would call a codependent or a reversed narcissist. This crucial piece of puzzle will help us understand why she stood by her husband and when he told her of his bizarre hallucination, instead of calling an exorcist she encouraged him to launch his prophetic career.
The National Mental Health Association (NMHA) defines codependency as “A learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as ‘relationship addiction’ because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. The disorder was first identified about ten years ago as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics. Codependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behavior.”[23]
Khadijah was a dainty accomplished woman. She was the favorite daughter of her father Khuwaylid. In fact Khuwaylid relied on her, more than he did on his sons. She was a “daddy’s girl.” She had rejected the hands of the powerful men of Mecca. But when she saw the youthful but dispossessed and needy Muhammad, she fell in love with him on the spot and sent a maid to him to propose marriage.
On the surface it seems that Muhammad had such a magnetic personality that he mesmerized this powerful woman. This, however, is a superficial understanding of a complex dynamism.
Tabari writes: “Khadijah sent a message to Muhammad inviting him to take her. She called her father to her house, plied him with wine until he was drunk, anointed him with perfume, clothed him in a striped robe and slaughtered a cow. Then she sent for Muhammad and his uncles. When they came in, her father married him to her. When he recovered from his intoxication, he said, ‘What is this meat, this perfume, and this garment?’ She replied, ‘You have married me to Muhammad bin Abdullah.’ ‘I have not done so,’ he said. ‘Would I do this when the greatest men of Mecca have asked for you and I have not agreed, why would I give you to a bum?’”[24]
The party of Muhammad replied indignantly that the alliance had been arranged by his own daughter. The old man drew his sword in anger and the relatives of Muhammad drew theirs. Blood was about to be shed when Khadijah intervened and made her love for Muhammad known and confessed to having masterminded the whole proceeding. Khuwaylid was then pacified, resigned to the fait accompli and reconciliation ensued.
How can one explain a seemingly levelheaded and successful woman suddenly falling in love with an indigent youth 15 years her junior? This erratic behavior belies a certain personality disorder in Khadijah.
Evidence suggests that Khadijah’s father was an alcoholic. Khadijah must have known her father’s weakness for alcohol to devise such an audacious plan. Non-alcoholic people often drink in moderation and hardly alone. Khuwaylid became drunk before the arrival of the guests. He was not just a social drinker but an alcoholic.
Now, why this should matter at all? Because it is another piece of puzzle in support of the theory that Khadijah was a codependent. Children of alcoholics often develop co-dependency.
---
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Mar/19/2009, 11:26 am
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samvaknin
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Re: Understanding Muhammas: Muhammad’s Personality Profile
Khadijah’s father was overly protective of her and had high expectations for her. From his reaction to the marriage of his 40-year-old daughter to an ordinary man and his words saying “the greatest men of Mecca have asked for you and I have not agreed,” it is clear that Khadijah was the apple of his eye. Khuwaylid had other children too, including a few sons, but it is clear that this daughter was his pride and joy. She was his only accomplished offspring.
Children who are adored and placed on a pedestal by their needy parents grow in their shadow. They often develop codependency personality disorder. They become obsessed with their father (or mother) and see their function as making their parents look good in the eyes of the outsiders. They are expected to be the “wunderkin.” and they strive to live upto that expectation and not disappoint their parents.
Under the constant demand for better performance, the child becomes unable to develop her own independent personality. She seeks her fulfillment in satisfying the needs of her perfectionist and narcissistic parent. She does not feel loved for WHO she is, but rather for HOW she performs. The alcoholic parent unloads his own emotional baggage on his children, especially on the one with more potential. He expects her to excel in everything and to make up for his own failures.
Codependents cannot find fulfillment and happiness in normal and emotionally healthy relationships that can happen only among equals. Only in the capacity of caregivers and pleasers can codependents find their happiness. The “perfect” match for the codependent is a needy narcissist.
Khadijah rejected her successful and mature suitors, falling in love with a poor young man who was both emotionally and financially needy. Codependents confuse love and pity. They have the tendency to “love” people they should pity and rescue.
Vaknin uses the term “inverted narcissism” instead of codependency. Here is what he says about the co-dependent-narcissist relationship: “The inverted narcissist can only truly FEEL anything when he is in relationship with another narcissist. The inverted narcissist is conditioned and programmed from the very beginning to be the perfect companion to the narcissist - to feed their Ego, to be purely their extension, to seek only praise and adulation if it brings greater praise and adulation to the narcissist.”[25]
This explains why a successful and beautiful woman like Khadijah would become interested in a needy man like Muhammad. Although inverted narcissists tend to be successful in their businesses, their relationships are often unhealthy. Vaknin further explains: “In a primary relationship, the inverted narcissist attempts to re-create the parent-child relationship. The invert thrives on mirroring to the narcissist his own grandiosity and in so doing the invert obtains his OWN Narcissistic Supply (the dependence of the narcissist upon the invert for their Secondary Narcissistic Supply). The invert must have this form of relationship with a narcissist in order to feel complete and whole. The invert will go as far as he needs to ensure that the narcissist is happy, cared for, properly adored, as he feels is the narcissist's right. The invert glorifies his narcissist, places him on a pedestal, endures any and all narcissistic devaluation with calm equanimity, impervious to the overt slights of the narcissist.[26]
It seems that the marriage of Muhammad and Khadijah was made in heaven (no pun intended). Muhammad was a narcissist who craved constant praise, attention and adulation. He was poor and emotionally needy. He was an adult, but his inner child was still yearning for attention. He was in need of someone to take care of him and provide for him, someone to exploit and abuse, the way an infant exploits and abuses his mother.
The relationship between a mother and her infant is narcissistic-codependent relationship. A mother is emotionally codependent on her child. She endures all his abuses joyfully. This is healthy. But it is not healthy when this dynamism exists between two adults.
The emotional maturity of the narcissist is frozen in childhood. His infantile needs have never been satisfied. He is constantly trying to satisfy those childish needs. All babies are narcissists and that is a necessary part of their growth. But if their narcissistic needs are not satisfied in childhood, their emotional maturity will freeze at that stage. They seek the attention they missed during their childhood in their relationships with their mates and others, including their children.
Muhammad’s craving for love was expressed by him on many occasions. Ibn Sa'd quotes him saying, the families of Quraish are all related to me and even if they do not love me for the message I am bringing them, they should love me because of my kinship to them.[27] In the Qur’an Muhammad says: “No reward do I ask of you for this except the love of those near of kin.”[28] These words are indeed desperate cries of one craving love and attention.
Khadijah, on the other hand, was an inverted narcissist who needed someone to fulfill her own fantasies as a caregiver. Not only does the codependent not mind being taken advantage of, she actually enjoys it.
Vaknin writes: “The inverted narcissist feeds on the primary narcissist and this is his narcissistic supply. So these two typologies can, in essence become a self-supporting, symbiotic system. In reality though, both the narcissist and the inverted narcissist need to be well aware of the dynamics of this relationship in order to make this work as a successful long-term arrangement.”[29]
Psychologist Dr. Florence W. Kaslow, explaining this symbiosis says that both parties have personality disorders (PDs) – but on opposite ends of the spectrum. “They seem to have a fatal attraction for each other in that their personality patterns are complementary and reciprocal – which is one reason why, if they get divorced, they are likely to be attracted over and over to someone similar to their former partner.”[30]
The symbiotic relationship between the narcissist Muhammad and the inverted narcissist Khadijah worked to perfection. Muhammad no longer needed to be preoccupied with work or money. He spent his days wandering in the caves and wilderness of his fertile fantasies, the delightful and affable realm where he was loved, admired, respected and feared. Khadijah became so engulfed in this self-absorbed narcissist and in attending to his needs that she neglected her commerce. Her thriving business dwindled and her wealth evaporated. She must have been around fifty years old when her youngest child was born. She stayed home while her husband was away most of the time, a recluse in his mental and physical caves.
---
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http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
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Mar/19/2009, 11:26 am
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samvaknin
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Re: Understanding Muhammas: Muhammad’s Personality Profile
According to Vaknin, “the inverted narcissist is extinguishingly selfless, sacrificial, even unctuous in his interpersonal relationships and will avoid the assistance of others at all costs. He can only interact with others when he can be seen to be giving, supportive, and expending an unusual effort to assist.”[31]
He also defines codependents as “people who depend on other people for their emotional gratification and the performance of Ego or daily functions.” He says “they are needy, demanding, submissive. They fear abandonment, cling and display immature behaviours in their effort to maintain the ‘relationship’ with their companion or mate upon whom they depend.”[32]
Melody Beattie, the author of Codependent No More explains that codependents unconsciously pick troubled partners in order to have purpose, be needed and feel fulfilled.
Any sensible person would have interpreted Muhammad’s bizarre experience as psychosis or “demon possession,” as they used to call it in those days. Even Muhammad himself thought he had become a kahin (sorcerer) or demon-possessed. As we read in the Qur’an, the reasonable people of Mecca thought Muhammad had become a majnoon, which literally means possessed by jinns and is understood as insane. But such a thought was too much to bear for Khadijah, who sought her fulfillment and happiness in fulfilling the needs of her husband. She had to cling to her narcissist at any cost. As a codependent, Khadijah felt the urge to step in, be helpful, give advice and salvage her own source of narcissistic supply.
The narcissist often demands sacrifices from people around him and expects them to become his codependents. They also live above the moral code. They feel too important to abide by any morality or rule.
John de Ruiter is a self-proclaimed messiah from Alberta, Canada. His followers worship him like God. “One day we were sitting around the kitchen smoking cigarettes,” said Joyce, de Ruiter's estranged wife of 18 years, in an interview. “He was talking about my 'death.' He acknowledged that I had gone through a lot of dying, which was a good thing. I had let go of ninety-five percent of the life that I had to let go of. But he said I wasn't letting myself go completely. He suggested that my ultimate death would be if he took on two more wives.” Joyce said she thought he was joking. He wasn't. He brought up the matter a second time, and asked Joyce if she thought his three wives could live in the same house.[33]
Fortunately Joyce was not codependent enough to agree to this much humiliation, and left her degenerate narcissist husband. A true codependent would do anything to appease her narcissist. The relationship of a codependent and her narcissist is that of sadomasochism.
Unfortunately for mankind, Khadijah was a real codependent, who was willing to sacrifice everything for her adored narcissist. It was she who encouraged Muhammad to pursue his prophetic ambitions and spurred him in that direction. When Muhammad no longer had epileptic seizures or saw any angels, Khadijah was disappointed. Ibn Ishaq writes: “After this, Gabriel did not come to him for a while and Khadijah said, ‘I think that your Lord must hate you.’”[34] This demonstrates how eager she was for her narcissist to become a prophet.
Why did Muhammad not take other wives when Khadijah was still alive? Because he was living off her money and in her house. Furthermore, the majority of the people of Mecca derided him. He was called a lunatic. No one would have married him even if he had had money of his own and Khadijah had not been an issue. In Mecca, his followers were a handful of teenagers and slaves with only a few women among them – and none was eligible for him to marry. Had Khadijah survived to see Muhammad's rise to power, she probably would have had to put up with her husband’s vagaries and the humiliation of sharing him with younger and prettier women.
After the death of Khadijah, Muhammad never found another codependent to take care of his emotional needs like she had. Instead, he sought fulfillment by becoming a sexual butterfly. Only a month after his wife’s death, Muhammad convinced his loyal friend and follower, Abu Bakr, to betroth to him his six-year-old daughter, Aisha. Abu Bakr was shocked. He tried to dissuade him, saying, “But we are brothers.” Muhammad reassured him they were only brothers in faith and that his marriage to that little child was not haram.[35]
He further told him that she had been shown to him twice in dreams in which he saw an angel carrying the little Aisha in a silken piece of cloth. “I said (to myself), ‘If this is from Allâh, then it must happen.’”[36] Now Abu Bakr was left with the options: Leaving Muhammad, for whom he had made so many sacrifices, denouncing him, calling him a liar and going back to his people, acknowledging he had been a fool; or doing whatever Muhammad asked of him. This is often the difficult choice cultists must make. Abu Bakr even built a mosque in the backyard of his house for Muslims to pray. He would often cry when reciting Muhammad’s allegedly revealed verses. Denoucing him at this stage, was not easy. Cultitsts are trapped. They have often sacrificed so much for the cult that going back is more painful than submitting.
Bob Larson writes: “Cult leaders know that once an initiate has been reconditioned to accept their particular worldview and as soon as he feels a sense of meaningful belonging, his mind will be ready to accept any teaching, including a belief that the leader represents God.”[37]
Abu Bakr pleaded with Muhammad to wait three more years before consummating the marriage. Muhammad agreed, but meanwhile, he married Sauda, the widowed wife of one of his followers, a few days later.
Muhammad created a harem with more than a score of women. He tried to compensate the loss of his sugar mommy with an abundance of younger women. He kept adding to the collection of his wives and concubines but none could meet his childish needs the way Khadijah had. He needed a mother to take care of his inner child, something his teenage wives could hardly do for a man who could be their grandfather.
---
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Mar/19/2009, 11:54 am
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samvaknin
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Re: Understanding Muhammas: Muhammad’s Personality Profile
Muhammad’s Belief in His Own Cause
From his early youth, Muhammad attended the annual fair in Okaz, where people from everywhere met for commerce and fun. There, Christian preachers read stories of Biblical prophets to their captivated audiences. Muhammad was fascinated by those stories. Being loved and respected were the only thoughts that had occupied his young mind. “How great it would be to be a prophet, to be loved and feared by everyone,” he must have thought while listening to those stories. Now, his wife was reassuring him he had become a prophet and that his fantasy had become a reality. It seemed that God had finally looked upon him mercifully, had chosen him from amongst all the people and had raised him to invite people to submit.
Muhammad’s thoughts were grand. In fact it was these grandiose ideas and his unwavering faith in unlimited success that kindled his followers to rise and to champion his cause, to assassinate, loot and kill, even their own fathers, for his cause. Thanks to these grandiose ideas, he always felt entitled to having special privileges.
Muhammad was extremely manipulative and exploitative. He built his empire without ever having to fight a single battle personally. By promising otherworldly rewards and a paradise of infinite orgies, he managed to make his followers wage wars for him, spend their wealth for his cause, sacrifice their lives, loot to make him rich and catapult him to the acme of power.
Narcissists are masters of lies. They themselves are, inevitably, the first victims of their own deception. They unconsciously deny their intolerably poor self-images by inflating their egos with grandiosity. They turn themselves into glittering images of immense grandeur surrounded by walls of denial. The goal of this self-deception is to be impervious to external criticism and to their roiling sea of doubts. Narcissists are pathological liars, while they genuinely believe in their own lies, and are extremely offended if contradicted.
Vaknin says, “The narcissist is ever in the pursuit of excitement and drama intended to alleviate his all-pervasive boredom and melancholy. Needless to say, both the pursuit itself and its goals must conform to the grandiose vision that the narcissist has of his (False) Self. They must be commensurate with his vision of his uniqueness and entitlement.”[38]
This explains Muhammad’s constant warfare. The drama, the rush of adrenaline and excitement were his narcissistic supplies. However, the narcissist is the first to believe in his own malarkey.
Dr. Vaknin explains: “Granted, the narcissist's hold on reality is tenuous (narcissists sometimes fail the reality test). Admittedly, narcissists often seem to believe in their own confabulations. They are unaware of the pathological nature and origin of their self-delusions and are, thus, technically delusional (though they rarely suffer from hallucinations, disorganized speech, or disorganized or catatonic behaviour). In the strictest sense of the word, narcissists appear to be psychotic.”[39]
Vaknin says however, that narcissists, while masters of self-deception or even malignant con-artistry, “are usually fully aware of the difference between true and false, real and make-believe, the invented and the extant, right and wrong. The narcissist consciously chooses to adopt one version of the events, an aggrandizing narrative, a fairy-tale existence, a ‘what-if’ counterfactual life. He is emotionally invested in his personal myth. The narcissist feels better as fiction than as fact – but he never loses sight of the fact that it is all just fiction. The narcissist is in full control of his faculties, cognizant of his choices, and goal-oriented. His behavior is intentional and directional. He is a manipulator, and his delusions are in the service of his stratagems. Hence his chameleon-like ability to change guises, his conduct, and his convictions on a dime…The narcissist attempts to condition his nearest and dearest to positively reinforce his delusional False Self.”[40] In the case of Muhammad, that role was played by Khadijah.
This is somewhat difficult to understand. On the one hand, Vaknin says the narcissist never loses sight of the fact that it is all his fiction, and on the other hand he says that the narcissist’s hold on reality is tenuous and that often he believes in his confabulations. Although this presents a logical dilemma for normal people, it is no problem for the narcissist who lies and then goes on to convince himself of those lies as if they were absolute truth, and will also change his story whenever it suits him.
We tend to believe that either a person is insane or he is a liar and that the two are mutually exclusive. This is not true. Often criminals plead insanity to escape punishment. Society, including mental health professionals, fall for this fraud. This stupidity has reached the absurd. James Pacenza, a 58-year-old man who was fired for spending his time visiting adult internet chatrooms at work, sued his employer (IBM) for wrongful dismissal, claiming that he was addicted to online chat rooms and IBM should have offered him sympathy and treatment instead of firing him. He was awarded $5,000,000 compensation.[41]
---
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http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
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Mar/19/2009, 11:55 am
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