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mbarnes Profile
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Re: No Contact and N-Dipping


Does anyone have advice? My ex N and I broke up 2 months ago. There has been no contact. However, his family has called and texted. I contacted once saying to stop it through text message.

Now, he is having his clients contact me and is all of a sudden sending referrals? I feel he is creeping back and lurking slowly. He has always manipulated so that I would cave and call. I'm not going to this time. I'm over the relationship. However, I have been having bad panic attacks with the fear that he will show up/call. Or, get enraged and change and attempt to sabotage my business. Any wisdom?
Jun/29/2010, 7:35 pm Link to this post  
 
deedra Profile
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Re: No Contact and N-Dipping


i have been with a n for 4 yrs. i found out last nite his lies and bs are still going on, yet he says he wants me, loves me, im his soulmate and yet he has at least 1 if not several more, i am the one he says he belongs with and yet when i find out truth he blocks me and deletes me from his life like i am nothing. i am completely devastated and cant eat cant function, nothing , i am totally heartbroke, please someone help me . I am so hurt and sad i think i wont make it.
Jul/2/2010, 8:34 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: No Contact and N-Dipping


your post made me cry. i am going through the same thing. trying to have no [sign in to see URL] still wondering, where is he? what is he doing?....i am so afraid. i dont know life without [sign in to see URL] is so hard.
Jul/12/2010, 7:04 pm Link to this post  
 
Sophia0504 Profile
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posticon Re: No Contact and N-Dipping


I was doing so good for a [sign in to see URL] his # from my cell and house [sign in to see URL] lasted for about 6 wks until unbeknownst to me(while I was under the influence of a sleeping pill I dialed him on his cell his # @12;30am]. He said he didn't rocognize the # because he deleted my # from his cell phone and didn't asnswer [sign in to see URL] called me a couple of days later wanting to know why I called I told him I didn'[sign in to see URL] I checked and realized I did, I could have kicked [sign in to see URL] told him it was a [sign in to see URL] started making commemnts about me being cruel and iron-like so cold said he couldn't do it so that makes me special!

Anyway we spoke for a couples of hours for a couple of [sign in to see URL] other stuff moreso his "concern" for me taking the pills everyday in case I do something stupid like get into my car or drink alcohol and not even realize what I'm [sign in to see URL] is true because I have done some crazy things....


Anyway, I told him I'm working on my personal growth and speaking with him daily is not going to help [sign in to see URL] wants us to work thru our personal issues [sign in to see URL] I know that is not possible because he is an a Narc.


After I told him I will not be speaking with him he became irate and said I sure know how to hurt his [sign in to see URL] said good luck on your "personal growth"...ur so "funny"

Last edited by Sophia0504, Jul/22/2010, 7:27 am
Jul/21/2010, 10:10 pm Link to this post  
 
Sophia0504 Profile
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Re: No Contact and N-Dipping


His friends and family had a b'day party for him on [sign in to see URL] txt me and said "this will be my first big b-day an maybe my last (U) r one of the most important person to me n not even a pulse in u make u want to b here r give a dam n u loved me like u never loved b4, yeah right u told everyone the same (slick)...u really suck

Then he sends me a message "R u ReaLlY NOT COMING TONIGHT<?????"

Then the following day "THANKS ALOT"



Jul/21/2010, 10:24 pm Link to this post  
 
Sophia0504 Profile
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Re: No Contact and N-Dipping


It's his actual bday today amd I was grappling with whether I should send him a happy birthday wish or [sign in to see URL] conscience got the better of me and I just sent him a [sign in to see URL] [sign in to see URL] said

O WOW!!!! I FEEL SPECIAL NOW, U REMEMBERED! DON'T EVEN BOTHER ULL HURT UR "personal growth" PS I REARENDED A CAR COMING TO WK TODAY N MY FOOT BOTTOM IS BADLY [sign in to see URL] SHUD MAKE UR DAY BRIGHT CUZ I'M HAVNG A GOOD ONE SO FAR THNAKS. I GO TO RUMMERS NOW TO B BY [sign in to see URL]. ONCE MORE "babe" plz forget me..

Last edited by Sophia0504, Jul/22/2010, 7:29 am
Jul/21/2010, 10:34 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: No Contact and N-Dipping


I told him "only you wud attach sarcasm 2 "personal growth" or find it "funny". Anyway sorry @ ur accident."

He said, "I DONT THINK ITS FUNNY, I THINK UR FULL OF !@#$ N SELFISH THINKING U R THE ONLY ONE WHO FEEL PAIN NEED TO FIND [sign in to see URL] JUST DONT LOVE, U NEVER REALLY [sign in to see URL] SORRY I CANT JUMP FOR JOY OVER UR "personal growth"..BUT THANKS N IM SO SORRY FOR BEING "ur 9yr accident" just forget about me "babe" like u already planed
Jul/21/2010, 10:45 pm Link to this post  
 
Sophia0504 Profile
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Re: No Contact and N-Dipping


Why can't I just let him [sign in to see URL] do I leave myself open for his insults? Why can't I get it into my head he will be nothing but an N? Why do I still feel sorry for him and his sorry life? Why do I feel so guilty for allowing him to waste nine years of his life because of my inadequacies/weaknesses? So many whys.... emoticon Some days my head is as clear as day and I know I did the right thing in leaving [sign in to see URL] there are days when I wonder "what if"? Deep in my heart, I know I would have given him another chance to prove he "has changed" or maybe I need confirmation he's an N, and that's sad in [sign in to see URL] I know I would totally lose respect from my daughter/family and I couldn't let that [sign in to see URL] that would eliminate any sense of self-respect I may posess... emoticon
Jul/23/2010, 6:49 pm Link to this post  
 
lindawood Profile
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Re: No Contact and N-Dipping


Thank you, Lynn, for your advice. I've just joined this forum, and already feel better in one hour!

Last week I changed my Visa number. A bit of a nuisance, but now I KNOW my N cannot get any new information about me that way.

We are in the middle of a divorce. He has an attorney, but has just sent me an e-mail directly responding (sort of) to information I requested from his attorney. I plan to block his e-mails, and let his attorney know I will not respond to anything he sends me.

You are giving me strength - thank you.
Jul/25/2010, 4:22 pm Link to this post  
 
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Re: No Contact and N-Dipping


Hi
Can anyone suggest how nc works with small children involved? I have a 2 yr old.

I have done the best I can to avoid all contact.

Its agreed in court he will not contact me in any form and he has supervised access to our 2 yr old.

I'm beginning to think after reading a post on here he may be using the court process to get his NS as I really struggle emotionally and am self representing.

Along with the regular dramas he creates at the contact centre involving the staff.

It's been 2 1/2 years of torment since I kicked him out.

1st stop though is facebook to remove friends as I will admit to dipping when I'm low.

Thanks for any advice.

xx
Jul/30/2010, 12:49 am Link to this post  
 
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