Karma: 517 (+517/-0)
Our Mission at NAR
Our Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Forum has helped an estimated thousand plus people in their recovery from being in a relationship of some kind with a narcissist.
We have members at varying stages of recovery here sharing their thoughts and feelings with us.
NAR is a place for victims to come to and feel understood and heard. To learn about the disorders, and how others survived being abused on a daily basis. And most importantly how they got out of the relationship.
We learn what works and what doesn't. We know from research and experience that by getting away from the person who is abusing us, and by staying away from this person in every way we can, we begin to be able to put the pieces of our lives back together.
Our members first come to NAR with questions and are in a state of shock over what happened to them. Many still feel they may find out a magic way to stay in the relationship and change it and the abuser. They learn that yes, you can stay, but you will never be happy, nor at peace, and that you won't be loved either by the NP. You learn that they can't change. That you can't do anything to make it better except leave.
Victims have their eyes opened by reading all of Dr. Vaknin's info., and the member's stories. They have many "wow, we could have been with the same person by this description" moments.
And members learn that in order to recover, they have to leave the abuser.
What NAR isn't, is a "how to stay with the abuser" help site, nor is it dating advice for "how to date an abuser and change him" site.
New members often come on and want to vent only, and be heard and understood. They are indeed heard and understood, but they are also pushed by those vets who have gotten out and are in recovery to get away from the abuser. They are understood in how they are hoping a miracle will happen and they will not have to leave the abuser. We learn that we are in a way addicted to the abuser.
It makes sense to leave. If you are being made sick by a toxin what do you do? You get away from it, and do No Contact with it. The Narcissists and Psychopaths are toxins to us in our lives. They make us sick inside. Our quality of life is damaged by them.
If you stay with an abuser, normally you aren't recovering from being with the abuser. You are still being abused.
It is a formula that has been proven time and time again to work. You leave the abuse, you process what happened to you, and you begin to recover. It takes time. A lot of time. We also recommend that you see a good therapist who is well versed in narcissism and psychopathy in recovery if you can.
Jan/17/2013, 8:19 pm
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