samvaknin
Registered user
Registered: 11-2008
Posts: 3987
Karma: 34 (+34/-0)
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
I envy talent and success - I want to be a Genius
To paraphrase what Henry James' once said of Louisa May Alcott, my experience of genius is small but my admiration for it is, nevertheless, great. When I visited the "Figarohaus" in Vienna - where Mozart lived and worked for two crucial years - I experienced a great fatigue, the sort that comes with acceptance. In the presence of real genius, I slumped into a chair and listened for one listless hour to its fruits: symphonies, the divine Requiem, arias, a cornucopia.
After 45 years, all I have to show for my manic pursuits is Internet ubiquity and parroted, shallow, ersatz-"scholarship". I am a fake.
I always wanted to be a genius. Partly as a sure-fire way to secure constant Narcissistic Supply, partly as a safeguard against my own mortality. As it became progressively more evident how far I am from it and how ensconced in mediocrity - I, being a narcissist, resorted to short cuts. Ever since my fifth year I pretended to be thoroughly acquainted with issues I had no clue about. This streak of con-artistry reached a crescendo in my puberty, when I convinced a whole township (and later, my country, by co-opting the media) that I was a new Einstein. While unable to solve even the most basic mathematical equations, I was regarded by many - including world class physicists - as somewhat of an epiphanous miracle. To sustain this false pretence, I plagiarized liberally. Only 15 years later did an Israeli physicist discover the (Australian) source of my major plagiarized "studies" in advanced physics. Following this encounter with the abyss - the mortal fear of being mortifyingly exposed - I stopped plagiarizing at the age of 23 and has never done so since.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/narcissistgenius.html
---
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy
http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
Buy 16 books and video lectures on 3 DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
|
|
Apr/22/2009, 8:26 am
|
Link to this post
|
